The Flu

I have been wrestling with the flu since the holidays, and I’m getting a little depressed about it. I never got sick when I was using drugs. Now, I’ve caught the flu twice in six months, all while I am sober. I have fallen victim to the mistaken notion that sobriety means no more discomfort, that I’ll no longer have to suffer or feel less than optimal. Of course, that just isn’t true. Sobriety means I will no longer be able to skip feeling anything, good or bad. This flu has taught me I don’t need to use drugs (other than cold medicine) even when I feel bad or I want relief. Suffering and pain serves a purpose. Feeling euphoric all the time just isn’t natural.

2 thoughts on “The Flu”

  1. I hope you are feeling better. I just literally finished your memoir about 10 minutes ago. I must have used that phrase ” I hope you are feeling better ” a zillion times before in my life given my age, but I never felt its impact before. I never thought about how easily ‘we’ drop that word ‘feeling.’ Feeling is a gift, not a given. Thank you for your share and strength.
    ~ Wendy

  2. Feeling makes us who we are. Being euphoric all the time is fine, if that is who you are. Substance abusers are fake people. Of course they are usually liars too. I have read your book. It will be a struggle for you to determine who you really are. Good luck, stay sober and be positive. When you are on drugs you are a very dangerous person. Is that who you are? Enjoy your journey.

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