When I was first introduced to the idea of recovery (up until then the idea of NOT doing drugs had never occurred to me) I thought I knew what that meant. I honestly thought I would be taught some mystical way to get the thought of using out of my head. Or be shown how to use drugs successfully. But today I know recovery isn't just about abstinence, but an awareness of self. I'm starting to become more aware of my emotional reactions, good and bad. And I'm expending some effort to deal with them in a less destructive way. It's like I'm finally grasping the reins of my life instead of being a slave to my whims.