Smoking Cigarettes

I started using drugs when I was twelve. But I didn’t start smoking cigarettes until I was in my thirties. But now that I’m sober, I still struggle with nicotine addiction. I’ve been exhibiting the same behaviors I did when I was using: lying about stopping, making ridiculous deals with myself, smoking one then throwing the rest of the pack out the car window only to buy more later that day, trying to only smoke at night or only in my car, only smoking with other people, debating with myself whether I should stop at the store and buy a pack. But the most glaring behavior is not telling anyone what I’m doing. My recovery requires transparency. Allowing someone to see the person I really am, the good and the bad, is the most essential part of my sobriety. So I’ve been treating this addiction like any other. I’m being honest about the crazy things I’ve been doing. And it really help.

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