Here are some questions I am frequently asked. If you care to ask me again, that’s okay.
Are you really sober?
I am absolutely sober. I swear. I’m not lying this time.
Would you mind terribly if I purchased one thousand copies of your book?
As a matter of fact, that would be quite acceptable.
Can you give me relationship advice?
Yes. Find a partner as incredible as my girlfriend, Leslie. Good luck with that.
Can you explain Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle?
The duality of a quantum particles’ state prevents the accurate determination of position and velocity simultaneously.
Do you like to snuggle?
Why should I give a shit about you?
I’m not really sure.